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    Literally Just 28 Tweets From This Month So Far That I Could Not Stop Cackling At

    "Don’t expect a 'bless you' after the third sneeze. Let's get it together."

    Somehow we're already halfway through November and almost done with 2022. 😳 With time moving so quickly, you might've missed some of these hysterical gems from Twitter over the past couple of weeks. Take a look:

    And follow the accounts that made you laugh so your Twitter timeline will be even better!


    when someone has a long instagram story i like to skip thru them really fast to understand how their life would look if it flashed before their eyes

    Twitter: @hotpriestt


    Me, whispering to Starbucks employee: Someone took a large…sorry…a venti poop on the floor.

    Twitter: @benedictsred


    saying go piss girl when someone needs to pee is just as respectful and important as saying bless u when someone sneezes and i stand by that.

    Twitter: @xejbxyd


    i love calling my parents on a sunday morning because when i call my mom it is like mom…i ate a yogurt parfait and toast with butter and she says erica that is so great but when i call my dad it is always like: “erica …it is time for you to start a business.”

    Twitter: @sourhoestarter


    Twitter: @contactabrother


    Lady behind me at The Thing screening last night to her partner "why are they shooting at the dog?" and her partner says very firmly "have you never seen a film before? You watch it and information is revealed"

    Twitter: @CursedGloryHole


    Jennifer Coolidge as Hilary Duff in The Lizzie McGuire movie

    HBO / Twitter: @heyjaeee


    me rolling up before thanksgiving dinner😂

    Twitter: @invis4yo


    When you high as fcuk & remember that you saved food for this exact moment

    Twitter: @badbbyaera


    Forgot to ask for oat milk in my coffee

    Twitter: @yugihole


    me at the gym asking if anyone is using the 5 lb dumbbell

    Nickelodeon / Twitter: @ivyluvx


    Twitter: @mazzypopstar


    the new twitter blue verification checks

    HBO / Twitter: @AngeldelaMito


    me freaking out and hiding when the maintenance guys knock on my apartment door even though I was the one who asked them to come fix something

    HBO / Twitter: @clur19


    Don’t expect a “bless you” after the 3rd sneeze, lets get it together.

    Twitter: @elibxoo


    I just know the calcium from all that activia yogurt transformed her skull into titanium steel

    Universal Pictures / Twitter: @HarryPhillips15


    me leaving for work at 8:15, hoping to get there by 8:00

    Boomerang / Twitter: @ivyluvx


    Me: Im so good at flirting. Me on a date:

    Twitter: @Jani__Gee


    If you have a wrist band you can leave and come back.

    Twitter: @SerGonzales10


    born to “idk ❤️” forced to “I’ll investigate and circle back”

    Twitter: @neruda_bro


    me whenever my friends start vaping in front of me

    HBO / Twitter: @suricidal


    I love a “c*m for me” ass partner. Like imma do that anyway but you want me to dedicate this next one to you? I feel like Usher. This is for you! You! My number one 😌

    Twitter: @GoddessGlock


    It’s November, y’all know what that means

    Twitter: @StupidSlavSlut


    Me randomly deciding to leave the club without telling anyone

    Disney Channel / Twitter: @sharon_weave


    The NYU student who took over my lease has owed me $100 for weeks, and when I asked him to pay me, he said he felt bullied and then sent me a Psychology Today article about gaslighting.

    Twitter: @GayLaVie


    You either date Pete Davidson or have a baby with Nick Cannon. Those are the only two life paths for women

    Twitter: @teresaeliz


    him: “you must be goofy if you think we are fucking 😑” meee:

    Twitter: @bxsel


    I would never “plan for the future”. A Bible level miracle is going to happen to me

    Twitter: @s4m31p4n