Somehow we're already halfway through November and almost done with 2022. 😳 With time moving so quickly, you might've missed some of these hysterical gems from Twitter over the past couple of weeks. Take a look:
And follow the accounts that made you laugh so your Twitter timeline will be even better!
1.
when someone has a long instagram story i like to skip thru them really fast to understand how their life would look if it flashed before their eyes
2.
Me, whispering to Starbucks employee: Someone took a large…sorry…a venti poop on the floor.
3.
saying go piss girl when someone needs to pee is just as respectful and important as saying bless u when someone sneezes and i stand by that.
4.
i love calling my parents on a sunday morning because when i call my mom it is like mom…i ate a yogurt parfait and toast with butter and she says erica that is so great but when i call my dad it is always like: “erica …it is time for you to start a business.”
6.
Lady behind me at The Thing screening last night to her partner "why are they shooting at the dog?" and her partner says very firmly "have you never seen a film before? You watch it and information is revealed"
7.
Jennifer Coolidge as Hilary Duff in The Lizzie McGuire movie
8.
me rolling up before thanksgiving dinner😂
9.
When you high as fcuk & remember that you saved food for this exact moment
10.
Forgot to ask for oat milk in my coffee
11.
me at the gym asking if anyone is using the 5 lb dumbbell
13.
the new twitter blue verification checks
14.
me freaking out and hiding when the maintenance guys knock on my apartment door even though I was the one who asked them to come fix something
15.
Don’t expect a “bless you” after the 3rd sneeze, lets get it together.
16.
I just know the calcium from all that activia yogurt transformed her skull into titanium steel
17.
me leaving for work at 8:15, hoping to get there by 8:00
18.
Me: Im so good at flirting. Me on a date:
19.
If you have a wrist band you can leave and come back. https://t.co/6xoWBhYVXC
20.
born to “idk ❤️” forced to “I’ll investigate and circle back”
21.
me whenever my friends start vaping in front of me
22.
I love a “c*m for me” ass partner. Like imma do that anyway but you want me to dedicate this next one to you? I feel like Usher. This is for you! You! My number one 😌
23.
It’s November, y’all know what that means
24.
Me randomly deciding to leave the club without telling anyone
25.
The NYU student who took over my lease has owed me $100 for weeks, and when I asked him to pay me, he said he felt bullied and then sent me a Psychology Today article about gaslighting.
26.
You either date Pete Davidson or have a baby with Nick Cannon. Those are the only two life paths for women
27.
him: “you must be goofy if you think we are fucking 😑” meee:
28.
I would never “plan for the future”. A Bible level miracle is going to happen to me