Twin Mommy and lover of all things Disney, all things pink, all things espresso, and all things margarita. ;-)
"My science teacher was arrested for murdering someone in a church parking lot!"
These weddings had some unbelievably funny moments.
They have no business making the workplace this funny.
They caught their parents WAY off guard with their hilarity.
"Until you have a dog, you have no idea what could be eaten."
Dog owners: "Their name is Buddy." Cat Owners: "Their name is Cool Ranch Dorito."
"I love when my husband says, 'Correct me if I'm wrong,' like I would ever pass up that opportunity."
If their spouses knew how good they were at trolling, they might have said, 'I don't.'"
"The 7-year-old said, 'Don't open that drawer! Mommy said it has bags of sugar in it!"
"My mother-in-law shamed me for having a cat, saying it would smell milk on my baby and 'steal the baby's breath.'"
"My 6-year-old son poops in the backyard every morning and blames it on the dog."
"One day the area manager came into my workplace, stared at my chest, and said, 'I see why you got the job.'"
"My 3-year-old asked if I could please turn the baby down because he can't hear the TV"
"Don't ever let your Mom comb your hair when she's mad at your Dad."
"La niña de 7 años dijo: '¡No abras ese cajón! ¡Mi mami dijo que ahí guarda bolsas de azúcar!'".
Their kids will be laughing at these fails for a long, long time.
"The bride kicked the groom's best friend out of the wedding because he lived with his girlfriend, and she wanted the entire bridal party to be 'pure.'"
"Our homeschool dismissal bell sounds less like a ding and more like me crying."