Whether we ask for it or not, parents love to give advice. Sometimes their advice ends up being spot on — but we don't realize it until later in life.
I recently asked the BuzzFeed Community: "What are things your parents ended up being right about now that you're an adult and have some life experience under your belt?" Some of the answers might sound familiar to advice your own parents gave you and some you might want to write down. Here are some of the responses.
1. "'The only person you can control is you.' I heard this my whole life — from interacting with my little brother, to frustrating high school boyfriends, to dealing with bad bosses. My dad always heard my complaints but reminded me I couldn't change people's actions or make them do what I thought was right. It continues to be a good perspective on how I react to others."
2. "If you’re so dependent on someone that you can’t do anything without them, that’s not a healthy relationship. I was like that with my ex, which my mom brought up. I didn’t listen then, but after the relationship ended I realized I had no one outside of my ex. You should be your own person first. She was right, but I was too scared of losing my ex to admit it at the time."
3. "Listen to people’s behavior, not their words. People will tell you what you want to hear and then carry on acting a totally different way."
4. "My mother always used to say 'What angers you controls you' in regards to relationships with people. It’s so true as an adult. It’s okay to be angry and upset but what are you going to do with it?"
5. "Save. Invest early. Don’t waste money. Definitely treat yourself now and then — but truly enjoy it and revel in it when you do. Don’t become accustomed to a daily $5 Starbucks and don’t do impulse purchases under $10. That money really adds up."
6. "You can never over-communicate. Dad threw this line out A LOT when I was a teenager. Good communication can solve almost any problem. When you’re an awkward shy teenager it’s the last thing you want to hear but as an adult, I couldn’t agree more. This bit of advice has helped me in every aspect of my life from romantic relationships to solving problems at work. This is a piece of advice I’ll pass along to my own kids. I can’t wait for the inevitable eye rolls, lol."
7. “You’re gonna regret saying you want to be an adult. My mum was correct."
8. "Don't shit where you eat. I learned this the hard way, but moms are always right."
9. "My parents always reminded me that the older you get, the faster time flies. When I was a kid I didn't know what they were talking about. Now that I'm an adult I see that it's true. Summer break used to feel endless as a kid and now it feels like it goes by in a blink. Weekends were fun and leisurely and now I get to Sunday night thinking I need an extra day in the week to get everything done I need to. My days are filled with so many responsibilities that it feels like the day escaped me when it's time to get ready for bed. I took a lot of my freedom and leisure time for granted as a child. I wish I would have soaked it all in while I still had the chance."
10. "'You're mad because you're hungry, I won't talk about this until you've had a snack.' I heard this all my childhood. I'm 30 and work with kids now. It's a mix of annoying and hilarious to repeat my mother's words, knowing full well they won't realize I'm right till they're in their 20s either."
11. "My mom used to tell me in high school that the kids who are popular and seem to have it all together in high school won't be the ones who enjoy college, and she was right. I loved college and was able to find people like me there. My mom also used to tell me that beneath the surface, everyone's got a shtick, or something going on and that no one lives a charmed life. I didn't believe her as a teenager, but as a 30-year-old woman who is also a teacher, I can admit she's right."
12. "'Life's not fair.' I wish it wasn't true but it damn sure is. Good things happen to bad people, bad things happen to good people, and most of the good shit that happens is just luck."
13. "Not really advice but something really important my mom always said to me. 'There is nothing wrong with being quiet.' As a very introverted person, that was so important for me to hear. Because she’s right, there’s nothing wrong with being quiet but the world always makes you feel like there is. Being introverted is bad and wrong but it’s definitely not. The world needs introverts."
14. "Sunday night is the most important night to go to bed early because it sets you up for success the rest of the week. Yup. Mom was right."
15. "'Wait until you're 18 before getting tattoos and dying your hair.' It sounded extremely harsh and cliche at the time, but at 25 I now understand my mom was right. I cringe when I think about some of the tattoo 'ideas' I had at 15. I got my first tattoo when I was 20 after thinking it over for about six months — no regrets. Also, I ended up not dying my hair and don't really plan to, my natural hair color and texture is one of my favorite things about my appearance."
16. "Never marry the first person you have a relationship with and fall in love with! My mother gave me this advice at 5 years old when I was preparing to be a flower girl in a family wedding and she was not happy about the marriage at all. As a kid and teen, I thought she was being pessimistic. Now that I am in my 30s, I have had a few relationships — and been in love more than once — I realize that she is 100% right.
18. "Lying about the little stuff matters. Mom would bust me lying about unimportant things and I never understood why she cared. Now I have a 13-year-old and when she lies about little stuff — like, what she had for dinner — and I suddenly get it. Those lies DO make people question if they can trust you!"
19. "Don't worry so much about what people think of you, because most of the time they don't think of you."
20. "My mom always told me that EVERY woman needs to have at least a path to a career started before settling in with a partner, and always have a way to make income. If the relationship ceases for any reason, you need to be able to take care of yourself without depending on your partner. As a young optimist, I had thought she was being cynical due to the bitter split between her and my dad and shrugged it off. Now I regret that I didn't listen. I never got to finish my degree, had two kids that needed homeschooling, haven't worked in years, and can't leave my marriage because health issues prevent me from doing the only work I'm qualified for.
"If my husband were to be out of work for an extended time, we'd be screwed and it's created so much unnecessary anxiety and stress, worrying about money. LADIES: put yourself first and make sure that you have a degree, certifications, technical training, whatever. Just having something that makes you employable is a must!"
21. “'If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.' 'You get what you pay for.' 'What you put in is what you get out.' 'Luck favors the prepared' and finally, 'Take it easy, stop and smell the roses.' My dad is full of small sayings for every scenario."
22. "When I was 12 and weeping over a boy, they said that ultimately, that boy wouldn't matter. Guess what? I'm 32, I have a great job, I'm doing ok money wise and I'm in a committed relationship. That boy most definitely does not matter."
23. "No one actually knows what they are doing, most of life is just faking it as you go along."
24. "Do what’s best for YOU. It might seem selfish but don’t try to appease others just because you’re worried you’ll hurt their feelings."
25. "My mom always pushed me in middle school and high school to prioritize our girlfriends. She had no patience for girls being silly about boys and she was so right. At those ages, boys come and go, but your friends will stay with you."
26. "Pick your battles. You don't need to show up to every argument you're invited to. Took me until my late 20s for this to really hit home but its saved me a lot of unnecessary drama and stress!"
27. "If they cheat with you, they will cheat on you. Mother told me that when she had an inkling I was too enamored with a married man. I stopped before it went too far. A married man, of course, found someone else I knew. I got an up-close look at that whole train wreck, visual proof of my mother’s wisdom (at least about that)."
29. "Send thank you notes. It’s rude not to."
30. "Misery loves company, period. Sometimes the people closest to you — coworkers, friends, even family — will give you advice that sounds good on the surface but really keeps you in a bad situation. The best advice is to be a critical thinker and look at how the advice someone else gives may benefit THEM more than you. Your friends may not like your significant other and convince you to break up with them and you don’t realize at the time that your partner was helping you evolve and that your best friend was jealous that you were spending time elsewhere."
"Your coworkers may push you to stand up for yourself in a way that makes you look bad and then miraculously your coworker gets the promotion you didn’t know you were up for. Your family may convince you that a six-figure job in another state is a bad opportunity only to keep you stuck with them, paying rent on the property they won’t fix. People will just sometimes give you shitty advice to help their situation more than yours."